in the spirit of positive thinking

I just thought I'd share a thought for the day.

Disturbed sleep leads to a poor sleep pattern...

I have spent several evenings in the recent weeks keeping my beloved company while he has to do an all nigher for work.
It's far from ideal but He is always there to support me and helps in every way. DD likes his sleep and when he is tired he finds it hard to battle on. So, I decided that the least I can do is help him with the battle.
The problem is, my already precarious sleep patter is now all gone to hell again.
Twice in the last week I didn't sleep at all.
Being aware of my tossing and turning, not mention the huffing and puffing turning over in bed creates due to back issues, I eventually got up and did a few chores.
Last night I decided to combat this with a dose of over the counter sleep aid. It did nothing.
After four hours I tried a second dose. Still had trouble getting off. Around 3.30 to 4 am I finally fell asleep.
Then I woke up at 6, then 7, then 8, then 8.30 then 10.30 and got up around midday.

Being tired is making me a grumpy bunny.

I will try to get a better night tonight (as I always do) I will dig the valarian out and so on.

Here's hoping

H x

A day out at Dovedale.

Today heralded a clear, blue almost spring like sky. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and only the most nocturnal among us wouldn't desire to be outside.
I long for the warm balm nights of Summer time and the hot humid days. I crave the sunshine and feel so much more a part of the human race in the warmer weather. I also love to see the spring bulbs poking the heads above ground, the spring lambs dot the fields and watch the green hills turn from bleak brown/green to such a lush green you feel the urge to roll down hills with the kind of abandon you had as a child (well I did anyway)
On a day such as this there was only one place top be, Dovedale!
After a late breakfast of scrambled eggs oin toast we loaded the chillun and pooch into the car and made our merry way there. The view of the rolling hills of the Derbyshire Dales as our backdrop, even the drive there was a pleasure.
Of course in try fibro flare up style I was exhausted before we even arrived but, I still had a smile on my face. A day out was just what the family needed. Time to relax and enjoy each others company.
We parked up and there came my first challenge. I got out of the car and eyed the crutches I had loaded into the car with loathing. Now, I faced a choice. I could shun them as I have done thus far. To proud and stubborn to give them a chance. Or I could use them. As ever, DD came to my rescue. "What if I carry them and you can use them if you really feel you need to?"  He really is perfect :)
It didn't take a great distance before the pain in my back, hips and legs wiped away any trace of vain pride and I was using them.
"Well DD, this is the day I admitted defeat" Was my comment with a rueful smile.
"Not at all! This is the day you used the tools you have to improve your health"
I do believe that every girl diagnosed with fibro should be prescribed their very own DD! Anyway, enough of singing his praises ;)
Unlike a recent trip to Carsington Waters, I made it for a good mile and a half or so. We crossed the stepping stones and the Pooch had a wonderful run. Although, she did act the tart. She is clearly coming into season and one or two less gentlemanly pooches noticed.
The Chillun climbed Thorpe Cloud while DD and I took the pooch along the river, and then back to wait for them at the bottom of the wee, little mountain.
We had a leisurely drive back home and I decided I would have a quick 40 winks before making dinner. I ended up sleeping for two hours but felt better for it. I made us a hefty cottage pie with gallons of veg. then the chillun hopped off to bed.
I have had a splendid day. I am in agony now (of course) but I feel like this time I have earned it.
The chillun may have climbed Thorpe Cloud but I have also conquered one of my own mountains today. The crutches may not be my idea of chic style but they do at least get me from a to b with less fuss.
Throw out the pride and embrace achievement!

Feeling flat.

I'm tired and achy. I feel totally flat. The weight is fluctuating but not really disappearing.
It's days like this I really realise I have a chronic syndrome and it ain't easy. I'm not one to want to moan to everyone and feel the power of positive thinking goes a long way.
Well, today I am moaning.
For those of you who read this blog (whoever you are) I hope you find it a positive and informative place. I am more than happy to wax lyrical for hour upon hour about the benefits of being synthetic drug free. I am happy to count my blessings and keep a silver lining on my world.
However, that would not be a realistic picture of fibromyalgia. There are good days and staying the course with positive vibes is essential.
But, today I hurt. I have had a few weeks of differing stressful times. Just the basic raising of two pre teens can stir up enough emotion and exhaustion for any parent. There is the world of chasing them to do homework, raising them to have respect for their environment and the people in it and of course just making sure they pick up a bar of soap once in a while.
On top of the normal stresses I have also had the worst cold I have had in some time. I still have horrible blocked sinuses that are giving me a headache.
Then there is the world of useless solicitors. Making a reasonable simple procedure (that could have taken six weeks but has taken three years) into a minefield of recrimination and emotional turmoil.
I just want to curl up and hide from the world. I don't want to socialise, I don't want to do anything. I can hardly keep my eyes open to read a book.
My fingers ache and feel like they are the size of sausages. I have shooting pains in my thighs. My joints burn and I just want it to stop.
ho hum.
Time to paint a smile on my face and go to the shop. Then make dinner for my family.
When can I go to bed?

top 9 reasons for a flare up

this list is not my own work but I certainly feel it should be included here.

In a nutshell, here ‘tis!

Anything that worsens your symptoms, can cause a flare.

Here’s a quick list of what may bother you and play a role in a symptoms flare:
1) Foods that don’t “feed” you (processed foods, fake foods, foods to which you have an allergy or intolerance)
2) Physical trauma (no matter how major or minor)
3) Unhealthy thoughts (what’s spinning around in your mind?)
4) Relationship difficulties (drama, worry, anxiety, etc.)
5) Lack of fitness/muscle tone (the body needs daily movement!)
6) External toxin exposure (pesticides from the lawn, laundry soaps, scented candles, perfumes, etc.)
7) Internal toxin exposure (dentistry, pharmaceuticals, immunisations, chemical dyes/food additives, etc.)
8) Infections (have you had a cold or flu lately?)
9) And, of course, an over-arching theme of stress…no explanation required.

I know, I for one, can tick more than one of these boxes. I also know there is room for improvement. Here is a quick review of how I get on so far.

1. Foods that don’t “feed” you.
Well, I am a huge advocate of whole foods. I cook from scratch with organic fresh ingredients. I try to work by the eat well plate rule. A little of everything and not too much of one. I am not much of a fan of processed prepacked foods and don't tend to cook it even for the family. We all eat together and we eat at the table. That is the rule.
2) Physical trauma.
I am one of the most clumsy people I know. If there is a wire I will trip over it. If there is a step I will fall down it or trip up it. If there is a ledge I will bump it. My son suffers with dyspraxia and when having him assessed I was told it is very likely he got it from me.  I do try to take more car4e but clumsy is clumsy and not much can change that. However, I am also becoming more accident prone because of my weight. I find my knees and ankles don't like to hold my weight and give way. I am also not very good at judging spaces now I am wider. I guess I put on the weight so quickly I never got used to being wider. This is being remedied. Slowly but surely it is coming off.
3) Unhealthy thoughts.
I assume by this they don't mean in the Catholic sense. I'm not giving that up for the world. I am however, prone to letting "the little things" bother me. I am learning to let them go. Life is too short!
4) Relationship difficulties.
I have a beautiful relationship with my wonderful supportive partner. He is sent from heaven. He understand me and cares for me. He supports me and is always by my side. I am very lucky! I have a wonderful relationship with both of my children. They are good kids with a strong level of empathy, manners, and caring. They are also typical young preteens and we do have the occasional drama but we never go to bed on an argument and when it comes down to it. They are lovely. Again, I am lucky!
I do have a stressful tie to the Ex husband. This in time will be broken but it does cause me anxiety. 
5) Lack of fitness/muscle tone
Here is my biggest problem. Due to weight and a poor sleep patter this has become a problem. I am very unfit and have poor muscle tone. This can and will be remedied in time but it is making exercise a chore and the weight isn't helping. I plan to start swimming next week. This has always been one of my favoured types of exercise and one of the most efficient, I have found. When the fitness level has risen slightly then I plan to return to yoga.
6) External toxin exposure.
I can't do much more about this one. I don't tend to suffer too much from environmental toxins but I do live in a rural community. I like perfume but don't seem to suffer with my choices. I like a light spray and a light scent. I do find strong perfumes in built up areas (we have all experienced the over scented middle aged woman at the shop counter) is guaranteed to give me headache. I also can't stand artificial room scents and candles. They make me feel sick.  There is no way they would come into my home. I have plenty of essential oils if needed.
7) Internal toxin exposure
Back to the organic, whole food cooking. I have that covered. I also avoid anything with sweetener, particularly aspartame in it. (you would be amazed by how many children's medicines and vitamin tablets contain this chemical). Green peppers are a no go as technically they are not ripe so contain a high level of solanine. All Solanums contain this and this is the alkaloid that causes nightshade to be poisonous. I should reduce the amount of the solanum found in tomatoes, potatoes, aubergine, peppers, paprika, gogi berries. The rule of thumb is that the greener they are the higher level of solanine.
However, I'm not quite ready to give up tomatoes and potatoes just yet. I shall reduce them though.
As for synthetic medication. Well, we all know the answer to that. If I hadn't started by cutting these out we wouldn't be here reading this blog.
8) Infections
We all get coughs and colds. However, I am sure any fibro sufferer will tell you how a simple sniffle can seem like the flu. I can't and won't live in a germ free bubble. Avoiding anyone with the slightest sniff.

9) And, of course, an over-arching theme of stress.
This one is my kryptonite. I was once told by a GP to "avoid all stressful situations". Oh, how I laughed. I was, at the time, a single mother of two youngsters.  Fighting a messy divorce, sick parents, no income (I was on the sick with no sick pay), a house that was falling apart around my ears, debts up to my eyeballs....
Sure, I'll just avoid that stress!
Things are so much better now. Stress still catches me unaware though. I need to let the little things go, worry less about what people think of me, finalise this blasted divorce and improve my health. all things I can take care of myself.

All in all, there is nothing as liberating as taking control of a situation. I feel I have come a long way in doing just that. With the power of positive thinking and the support of dear family and friends I can only get better!